I Love the Suburbs

Since about 1996, I have lived “in the city.” But now my family lives in a city of suburbs, connected by various parkways to zip along to different suburban housing developments. We live in one such housing development (picture lots of cul-de-sacs and curving roads and no sidewalks).

Why I love it:

(1) No one bothers you. Our house has a house on either side and one that adjoins our back yard. And there are two houses essentially across the street. Of the 5 families living in these houses — our “neighbors” — only 2 have introduced themselves to us. Of course, we’ve only lived there just over four months. I’m afraid that in time the others may talk to us and disturb our peace and tranquility. If I wanted neighbors to talk to me, I wouldn’t have moved to the suburbs. That’s what apartments in the city are for, right?

(2) Everyone has at least one vehicle the size of a Chevy Suburban. And because they only have 1 or 2 kids, this means that there is plenty of room for them to load up their land barges with neighborhood kids and take them to do kid activities. Well, at least in theory. Not that anyone does this. (See #1 above.) But if they wanted to, the could!

(3) You can play fun games with people in the neighborhood like “Scare the Walkers.” I will be working in my front yard and see someone out getting their daily exercise walking by. They pretend not to see me (see #1 above) and I’ll pretend not to see them either, and then I’ll startle them by turning in their direction and saying, “Hi!” You should see the total confusion come over them! They are just at a total loss as to how to react. I love that.

If this sounds like an ideal situation to you, you should move to the suburbs, too. It’s great.

Published by David Yamane

Sociologist at Wake Forest U, student of gun culture, tennis player, racket stringer (MRT), whisk(e)y drinker, bow-tie wearer, father, husband. Not necessarily in that order.

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