Getting in Shape

What’s wrong with this picture? I am sitting at the kitchen table this morning, reading an article in Esquire magazine about “being a better man, getting in shape,” etc. The timer goes off. I get up and take the biscuits I am baking out of the oven. I take two biscuits, cut them open, and top them liberally with corned beef hash. I return to the kitchen table. I finish my breakfast before I finish the article.